games

After taking John's keys...followed by taking his money clip... followed by taking things in that weren't even his just in his general vicinity, she declares, "Hey, Dad! We're playing a fun game!  It's called "Try And Get Your Stuff Back".

say what!?!

Running in from the yard... phew! I'm slutty!   uhhh... I'm sweaty.  I mean I'm sweaty.

a lesson in organizing.

Emma is organizing her puzzles in the loft cabinet. She looked at me, sighed, and said "we should have done this weeks ago..."

you're right

if i would eat while i'm going potty... that would be weird

even she cant stand the fussyness

number 1. we have to chill out

number 2. we need to have a little dinner

number 3 we need to stay calm with a good attitude.

That’s what we need to do.  Right, mother?

at the store

.... OH!  I gotta get me one-a these!

store branding

John and Emma were on a "date".

John: Emma, while we are out, we need to stop at Lowes.
Emma: yeah, let's build something together.

backseat infomercial

From the backseat...

Emma:  Mom, where are we going?
Mama: To the store.
Emma: To the grocery store?
Mama:  Yep.
Emma: Why?
Mama: So we can get groceries and pick up some baby food for your brother.
Emma:  Oh.... so we can just get some carrots and a baby bullet?
Mama: What?
Emma:  Yeah, then you just kinda cut 'em and then put 'em in the thing... and you just turn the head! Baby food!

dentist

Emma was excited for the new Ariel toothbrush and kid's crest toothpaste she received from her visit to the dentist the other day.  After brushing her teeth and hopping in to bed, she gave daddy a goodnight kiss on the cheek and asked if her kiss was sparkly and melty  (minty)

so forgiving

If Daddy breaks some of my toys... (dramatic pause)... I will still love him.

Going out of business

I was still Holding Jackson after I had finished feeding him. Emma climbed on my lap too and said "why did you close up shop?"

Delusions of grandeur

Pulling up next to a farm...

Mama, at our next house, can we have a garden like THAT!?!?

Bedtime prayers

Dear God, thank you for making the animals and thank you for making us and thank you for letting us have a good day at the zoo. thank you for your Son dying on the cross for our sins and for making him alive again! Amen.

Sales 101

Today at Half Price Books...

Emma: (walking up to John with an item in each hand)  Daddy, which one of these do you like best?

John: (pointing at item A)  I think I like that dinosaur one.

Emma: Well... I like the truck one... So, yeah, why don't we just go ahead and get both?

role playing

Emma likes to declare what everyone needs to pretend to be...

Okay, I will dress up to be Mary; Jackson can dress up to be Joseph; And Daddy can be baby Jesus; Yeah, that sounds good.

The deal was that if Emma took a good nap, we would go to the playground when she got up. Well, little miss never actually took her nap. This was her response when she came out of her room...

You know, I don't think I want to take a walk to the park today. Yeah. We should do it tomorrow.

Rolodex

I was out shopping with Jackson, John opened his phone to call me...

Oh, do you need mama's number? I can go get it for you.

surprise for daddy

while on the phone with John...

Em: Hey, Dad! we got you a surprise at the store.
J: Oh yeah? what is it?
Em: mama said you have to wait until you get home...
(getting permission from mama to tell)
Em: we got you a go butler shirt!
J: no way! thats so cool, emma!
Em: yeah, you can wear it when you watch the game.

Beauty rest

After finishing up bedtime story and prayers, mommy and daddy started just chatting with each other. Emma rolled over, sat up, and stated, "mommy and daddy, could you please leave the room and turn off the light so I can get to sleep?"

Informative

She was walking alongside the stroller with her jacket so precisely draped over her forearm in front of her...

Mama, we need to take walks every day to help with our dry skin.

Comparisons

That's silly like a raincloud...

Passive aggressive

To Jackson while he's on mama's lap: oh, pretty baby...do you want to play with sissy so mommy can get me my juice and strawberries?

the wrong what?

(takes drink... choking... sputtering...composing herself)

ugh.. that went down the wrong PIE!



if daddy was here... he would take all my chokes away!

Still attached

emerson bonked her head on the windowsill while reaching in her toy box.
She rubbed it saying "ow! I'm okay! It's still there!"
I said "what's still there?"
"My head" she replied, "yeah, that's good".

nurse Emerson

Emma just got done taking johns blood pressure and checking his heartbeat. She walked away saying "the doctor will be in shortly".

yep

i don't remember the exact conversation, but i repeated what i thought i heard her say and said "is that what you said?"

She replied, yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about!"

so sad

as the show was nearing it's end...
(exasperated sigh)  Mama, I don't like when it's over...

Safety precautions

Emma likes to pretend that she's going on grand adventures a la Dora. She gets all her necessities already to go, place them in her backpack, and comes to say her goodbyes...

Bye, Mama. I'll see ya later! (waving) I will miss you! See you soon! (waiting for a response)

Me: okay, Emma... Have fun. DRIVE safe!


No, WALK safe. Because I'm not old to drive yet!

Manly things

I walked in the front door carrying John's keys and messenger bag. Emma saw me and was curious as to what was going on.  I said daddy accidentally locked his keys in the car to which she replied, "oh, and his purse...(pause)...ha,ha, I mean bag..."

Fairy tales

Mommy, I will play beauty and the beast. Like you are a beauty and daddy is your beast!

schooltime woes...

doing school with emma...

instead of just coloring her "d" words (dog, etc) she tried to spell can't "because i can't do all of it". (she wrote the letters L, O, and 'scribble' and said, "L-O-'che'....that's how you spell can't"...

Cooking lesson

Freezin pizza??!? That's yucky.
Well, we'll cook it first.
Oh. Yeah. That's better.

fairytales

emma: hey daddy, you can be the handsome prince!
john: but, punkin', i'm not really that handsome.
emma: i know, but you can still be the prince.

stinky

emma: boys are stinky.
john: well, emma, you're stinky.
emma: i'm not stinky 'cuz i'm a girl... and girls aren't sinky... well, when there is poopy they're stinky.

almost all better.

My coughs are all gone  God healed me and made me all better.

(cough)

well there was one more left, but now I'm all better again!

a sense of modesty

This picture just cracks me up.  Emma got these princess cards for Christmas.  She was looking through them and brought this one up to me and said, "this princess is not 'ceptable"... she was referring to the fact that jasmine was not modestly dressed.. you're right emma, she is not acceptable.

style

emma came into my room this morning with her shirt on backwards.  i didnt say a word.  she states, "i didn't want the picture on the front"

talking back to the computer

computer: press a button.

emma: just a sec

------(30 seconds later)------

comp: press a button.

em: just a second.

------(30 seconds later)------

comp: press a button.

em: just a SECOND, i said.

------(30 seconds later)------

comp: press a button.

em: JUST A SECOND!

 ------(30 seconds later)------

comp: press a button.

em: mom, will you tell my computer i said 'just a second'?? 

Potty mouth

While going to the bathroom:

If she has more than one poop she refers to it as a "whole FAMILY of
poopies!"

Or we've heard "I'm gonna build a tower of poopies up to the ceiling!"

And today, little miss got a square of to stuck in her booty to which
she exclaimed, "hey look! I have a tail!"

cannibalism:just say no

mommy likes to pretend to take bites out of new baby brother. "Emma, he's so cute I could just eat him right up... yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum."

"Mommy, do NOT eat my brother.  I already told you I didn't like you doing that the other day."

thanks, sweets

Mommy, your bottom is too wide for my chair.

potty training favorites

after she hears her pee hit the water she gets really excited and says, "mama, are you SO PROUD of me??"

we're still have her wear a diaper at night (she keeps it dry from 8p to 9a, but still it's worth the 10 cents to not have a mess to clean up in the morning just in case), so she gets really excited when she gets to put panties on after going in the potty.  she started singing me a song, "panty time, panty time.  who doesn't love panty time?"

the other day she was in the bathroom while I was using the loo and she exclaimed, "mama, i'm so proud of you!" I replied, "Why sweetie?"  "Because you kept your panties dry!"

say what??

so emma and i only kiss on the cheek  and she was REALLY trying to kiss my lips the other day. she was climbing all over me and forcing my head toward hers.  she was all giggly and then got really serious and said "this is gonna get weird".  I BUSTED UP LAUGHING!

They're back!

Emma:  Mom, MOM!! God got them back!  God got them back for you!
Me: God got what back Emma?
Emma:  Your leg whiskers! Hooray!

A message

Hey, mama... I wrote a message.  Let me read it to you. 

(runs across the room to pick up a receipt with a bunch of scribbles on the back to bring it back to show me)

It says...

Dear Daddy,
I love you.  And I love my mommy.
Love,
Emma

(that's a lotta lovin'!)

dreaming

there was a commercial on for lindor truffles and they asked "do you dream in chocolate?"  emma replied, "no, i dream in bed."

ABCs

Emma likes to pretend that she is the teacher and we (her parents) are the students....

Okay... what letter does 'kitty' start with?
     K
Good job!  What letter starts 'doggie'?
     D
Oh, very good!  And what letter starts ROLL-ER-COAST-ER?

nicknames

Grandma Sharbaugh talking to Papa Sharbaugh while doing her hair: Norm, where's my little squirt thing?
Emma from across the room: I'm right here!


Papa Sharbaugh was writing his name with Emma...
"My name is Norman, but my nickname is Norm. You are Emerson, but your nickname is Emma."
"Uh, no. I'm Tooty Magee!"

No hablo espanol

While reading a book with missionary friends on their way to Spain...

Andy: Can you say perro for doggie?
Emma: Doggie.
Andy: No, you say perro in Spanish.
Emma: And you say doggie in not-Spanish.

Brownie points

Mommy, what are you doing?

Putting on makeup.

But you're already pretty.