he can't actually hear you

emma was standing by me as i opened up an email from daddy... i said "emma, daddy says he misses you." she leaned in toward the screen and said softly "thanks, daddy!"

sorry, Baby Jesus

Jackson!  Take Baby Jesus out of your mouth!

It's a miracle!

Jackson is holding a piece of the play nativity set---emma took it and walked across the room saying "now walk to  baby Jesus.  Walk to baby Jesus!"

wise deductions

daddy tooted while working on the floor.  jokingly, he  immediately blamed emma.

Emma: I didn't toot.  That was a loud one and I don't do loud toots.  and neither does mama.  it had to be daddy.

cold and partly cloudy

Watching the weather during the 12:00 news...

"Wow... she looks really cute today! Don't you think she looks really cute, Mom?"

malpractice suit?

Emma (excuse me... Rapunzel) and her husband Eugene have been having lots of babies recently.  Let me stress once again...her HUSBAND Eugene.

"Mom, I've got to go to the doctor and get my baby out!"

[from what I could see as she ran around the corner, she laid down somewhere on the floor and pretended to have the doctor take the baby out of her belly--we recently saw an episode of the Duggars where the mom had a C-section, so at this point, no hard questions have been asked about the whole baby escape].

A while later, she came up to me and handed me a washcloth. "Here.  You need to wash this because my baby was all bloody because they didn't wash him when he was born."

Mama: They don't sound like very good doctors.

Emma:  No, they are good doctors, but sometimes they just forget.

accidentally

lately, we've had to discuss with emma what it means to do something "on accident".  usually we hear, "Mom, i accidentally opened the front door" (or insert some other action which she knows is wrong).  To which we reply, "no, emma.  actually you really did mean to open the front door.  you did it on purpose."  "Oh, sorry, mom."

well today, she came in to the kitchen while I was getting Jackson's breakfast ready saying, "Mom, I meant to spill my milk."

It took me a while to process, but reassured her that no, she probably spilled her milk on accident.

definitions

mama:  what does expensive mean?
emma:  that we don't get it.

options

A friend of Emma's couldn't think of anything she wanted for Christmas to tell her aunt and Emma looked at her and said " Shawna, you have to consider your options."

etc.

Emma, you need to start remembering again to flush the potty when you're done or we're not going to let you use the restroom anymore.  {sarcasm}

"Oh, then i'll just have to go outside!"

---

Daddy, can you open my peanut for me?  I'm not as strong as you.

---

While listening to an infomercial on the radio about some diet product, we overheard: "And now, I can even wear my skinny jeans!"

Emma replied:  "Skinny jeans!?!?! Good job!"

Superheroes

John and Emma were watching an animated show of The Avengers. One of the bad characters said, "I'm the Most powerful being in the universe!

No he's not. There's Jesus and God [pause] and the Hulk.

Later in the show the hulk came and smashed the bad guy and Emma turned and looked up at John as if to say "that's right, I called that."

randoms from today

When God heals me, I will be better.

While talking on her pretend cell phone:  "yes, they do have car insurance, but my mom and dad don't want to give it you."

Boys aren't supposed to wear purple. Purple is a girl color. Boys aren't supposed to wear pink either!

Flower delivery

Daddy, who was at the door?
{Someone got us flowers}
Are they for mommy because she is so beautiful?

Melt. My. Heart.

Rainy Days

It's raining,
It's pouring,
UNCLE BUD is snoring!

a little apathetic

John while walking up the stairs: (sigh) my head is killing me.
Emma: nobody even cares.

WWF

Emma while getting ready to body slam daddy: "I'm going to destroy you!"

Mommys little helper

At the lunch table..

Mama: (glimpse of laundry waiting to be folded, followed by a sigh)
Emma: are you tired, mom?
Mama: yep, sweetie.
Emma: go take a nap.
Mama: but I can't. I have to watch the kiddos. I can't do that while I'm sleeping.
Emma: yes you can. Jackson is already asleep and I can fold your clothes for you. That a good idea?

Just maybe

Phew! We quite possibly did a LOT of puzzles.

(before putting them away I added up the piece totals and she had put together over 1500 puzzle pieces that morning!)

One morning I was woken up by a sweet daughter touching my face. She cuddled under the blanket all cute with me and sweetly said, "mom, can i use your iPad because you aren't really using it right now."

Learning to be frugal?

Emma is pretending to be the mama and is going through her groceries and toys and picking things up saying "oh, this is expensive, we need to take it back to the store. Right, mom? I mean right, darling?  Sorry sweetheart, but some of the stuff is just too expensive. I've got to take it back because it was expensive."

brother for sale!

every time jackson pulls himself up to standing emma comments "mama, look at our big boy!"... this time she followed it with "he's just too big for us, maybe we should put him in the garage sale!"
sorry sweet pea, i think we'll keep him!

tech savvy

Mama was reading some of the past "Punkin Ponderings" to Daddy aloud.  Emma was listening in and exclaimed: "You blogged that online?!?"

fun places

Daddy:  Emma, you've been a good girl this morning.  Do you want to go to the...
Emma:  umm.... Book.  Store???
Daddy:  You are your mama's girl.  How about the zoo?
Emma:  TODAY!?!?!?  YES! I would love to do that.
Mama: Maybe we can see the new baby elephant.
Emma:  Did you know that because you checked online?

summertime

While driving....

Mama:  Emma, do you smell the fire!?!?
Emma:  Don't worry, Mom.  I think it's just someone grilling.

silly balloon

our current working vehicle does not have adequate AC, so emma was in the backseat of john's car with the balloon she got on their date....

"Daddy, can we put the windows up because my balloon is FREAKING. OUT."

Preparing for college

Emma and I were sitting on the couch Saturday morning hanging out and watching cartoons when a Gerber Life commercial came on. IT was talking about even though the kids were maybe 2 years old the parents were starting to save for their college education already. After the commercial ended Emma turned to me with a serious look on her face and said, “Dad… I am not ready for college yet. I am still too little. So maybe when I am bigger.”

Someplace awesome

Em: hey, mama, you want to go someplace awesome with me?
Mama: sure, where are we going?
Em: half-price books...that's where I get my half-price books!

Q & A

Q. Why did mommy marry daddy?
A.  Because he's AWESOME!

Q. Why does mommy make dinner?
A. Because she loves us.
     Q. Why does daddy NOT make dinner?
     A. Because you [daddy] love me... and mommy makes it best.

Q. What's your favorite bedtime story?
A.  Bear snores on.  {John and I like this one too!}

Q. Who is a better driver?
A.  Daddy because he drives all of us.

Q. What kind of college do you want to go to?
A. A real one.

Q. What places do you want to visit?
A.  China...Disney to see the princesses... and heaven!

Q. What kind of food do cows give us?
A. CHIK-FIL-A!!

Q. What's mommy's favorite drink?
A.  Caramel latte. {good answer}
     Q. What's daddy's favorite drink?
     A.  Mt. Dew. {also a good answer}

Q. Where does milk come from?
A.  Black and white cows.
     Q. Where does pink milk come from? {that's what we call strawberry milk}
     A. Daddy!

Q. Where do you punch daddy?
A.  In the booty. {she really does just run by and punch his butt}

Emma: First, I'm going to get married and then have two babies in my belly at the same time!
Q.  Who are you going to marry?
A.  My husband.

Q.  What do you like to do with mommy?
A.  Chill out... and go to the pool... and have a good day.
     Q.  ...and daddy?
     A.  fight and wrassle! {wrestle}

games

After taking John's keys...followed by taking his money clip... followed by taking things in that weren't even his just in his general vicinity, she declares, "Hey, Dad! We're playing a fun game!  It's called "Try And Get Your Stuff Back".

say what!?!

Running in from the yard... phew! I'm slutty!   uhhh... I'm sweaty.  I mean I'm sweaty.

a lesson in organizing.

Emma is organizing her puzzles in the loft cabinet. She looked at me, sighed, and said "we should have done this weeks ago..."

you're right

if i would eat while i'm going potty... that would be weird

even she cant stand the fussyness

number 1. we have to chill out

number 2. we need to have a little dinner

number 3 we need to stay calm with a good attitude.

That’s what we need to do.  Right, mother?

at the store

.... OH!  I gotta get me one-a these!

store branding

John and Emma were on a "date".

John: Emma, while we are out, we need to stop at Lowes.
Emma: yeah, let's build something together.

backseat infomercial

From the backseat...

Emma:  Mom, where are we going?
Mama: To the store.
Emma: To the grocery store?
Mama:  Yep.
Emma: Why?
Mama: So we can get groceries and pick up some baby food for your brother.
Emma:  Oh.... so we can just get some carrots and a baby bullet?
Mama: What?
Emma:  Yeah, then you just kinda cut 'em and then put 'em in the thing... and you just turn the head! Baby food!

dentist

Emma was excited for the new Ariel toothbrush and kid's crest toothpaste she received from her visit to the dentist the other day.  After brushing her teeth and hopping in to bed, she gave daddy a goodnight kiss on the cheek and asked if her kiss was sparkly and melty  (minty)

so forgiving

If Daddy breaks some of my toys... (dramatic pause)... I will still love him.

Going out of business

I was still Holding Jackson after I had finished feeding him. Emma climbed on my lap too and said "why did you close up shop?"

Delusions of grandeur

Pulling up next to a farm...

Mama, at our next house, can we have a garden like THAT!?!?

Bedtime prayers

Dear God, thank you for making the animals and thank you for making us and thank you for letting us have a good day at the zoo. thank you for your Son dying on the cross for our sins and for making him alive again! Amen.

Sales 101

Today at Half Price Books...

Emma: (walking up to John with an item in each hand)  Daddy, which one of these do you like best?

John: (pointing at item A)  I think I like that dinosaur one.

Emma: Well... I like the truck one... So, yeah, why don't we just go ahead and get both?

role playing

Emma likes to declare what everyone needs to pretend to be...

Okay, I will dress up to be Mary; Jackson can dress up to be Joseph; And Daddy can be baby Jesus; Yeah, that sounds good.

The deal was that if Emma took a good nap, we would go to the playground when she got up. Well, little miss never actually took her nap. This was her response when she came out of her room...

You know, I don't think I want to take a walk to the park today. Yeah. We should do it tomorrow.

Rolodex

I was out shopping with Jackson, John opened his phone to call me...

Oh, do you need mama's number? I can go get it for you.

surprise for daddy

while on the phone with John...

Em: Hey, Dad! we got you a surprise at the store.
J: Oh yeah? what is it?
Em: mama said you have to wait until you get home...
(getting permission from mama to tell)
Em: we got you a go butler shirt!
J: no way! thats so cool, emma!
Em: yeah, you can wear it when you watch the game.

Beauty rest

After finishing up bedtime story and prayers, mommy and daddy started just chatting with each other. Emma rolled over, sat up, and stated, "mommy and daddy, could you please leave the room and turn off the light so I can get to sleep?"

Informative

She was walking alongside the stroller with her jacket so precisely draped over her forearm in front of her...

Mama, we need to take walks every day to help with our dry skin.

Comparisons

That's silly like a raincloud...

Passive aggressive

To Jackson while he's on mama's lap: oh, pretty baby...do you want to play with sissy so mommy can get me my juice and strawberries?

the wrong what?

(takes drink... choking... sputtering...composing herself)

ugh.. that went down the wrong PIE!



if daddy was here... he would take all my chokes away!

Still attached

emerson bonked her head on the windowsill while reaching in her toy box.
She rubbed it saying "ow! I'm okay! It's still there!"
I said "what's still there?"
"My head" she replied, "yeah, that's good".

nurse Emerson

Emma just got done taking johns blood pressure and checking his heartbeat. She walked away saying "the doctor will be in shortly".

yep

i don't remember the exact conversation, but i repeated what i thought i heard her say and said "is that what you said?"

She replied, yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about!"

so sad

as the show was nearing it's end...
(exasperated sigh)  Mama, I don't like when it's over...

Safety precautions

Emma likes to pretend that she's going on grand adventures a la Dora. She gets all her necessities already to go, place them in her backpack, and comes to say her goodbyes...

Bye, Mama. I'll see ya later! (waving) I will miss you! See you soon! (waiting for a response)

Me: okay, Emma... Have fun. DRIVE safe!


No, WALK safe. Because I'm not old to drive yet!

Manly things

I walked in the front door carrying John's keys and messenger bag. Emma saw me and was curious as to what was going on.  I said daddy accidentally locked his keys in the car to which she replied, "oh, and his purse...(pause)...ha,ha, I mean bag..."

Fairy tales

Mommy, I will play beauty and the beast. Like you are a beauty and daddy is your beast!

schooltime woes...

doing school with emma...

instead of just coloring her "d" words (dog, etc) she tried to spell can't "because i can't do all of it". (she wrote the letters L, O, and 'scribble' and said, "L-O-'che'....that's how you spell can't"...

Cooking lesson

Freezin pizza??!? That's yucky.
Well, we'll cook it first.
Oh. Yeah. That's better.

fairytales

emma: hey daddy, you can be the handsome prince!
john: but, punkin', i'm not really that handsome.
emma: i know, but you can still be the prince.

stinky

emma: boys are stinky.
john: well, emma, you're stinky.
emma: i'm not stinky 'cuz i'm a girl... and girls aren't sinky... well, when there is poopy they're stinky.

almost all better.

My coughs are all gone  God healed me and made me all better.

(cough)

well there was one more left, but now I'm all better again!

a sense of modesty

This picture just cracks me up.  Emma got these princess cards for Christmas.  She was looking through them and brought this one up to me and said, "this princess is not 'ceptable"... she was referring to the fact that jasmine was not modestly dressed.. you're right emma, she is not acceptable.

style

emma came into my room this morning with her shirt on backwards.  i didnt say a word.  she states, "i didn't want the picture on the front"